Eyes stitched closed

I am regretably selfish. My humanity rises up within me and tries to take a hold me. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Paul tells of his struggle with his humanity. He talks of himself doing the things he doesn't want to do, and not doing the things he should do. I am the epidimy of failure, in thought, in action, in emotion, in my relationship with God and others. My weakness is focus. When I get my eyes off of Christ, my perspective is distorted. I want Jesus. I want everything that God has for me. I want to be completely satisfied with Him. I feel like God tried to get a hold of my attention a few weeks ago. I wasn't satisfied with my social endeavors. I had problems within myself I couldn't solve. He got a hold of my attention in a subtle way. He helped me come to the conclusion that my focus was on the things around me. My everything wasn't Jesus, and my eyes were on the things around me. I was watching everything go down hill, all I saw was the negative. Then I started to try to change focus. My focus was more directed toward Jesus. I wanted Him to be my everything. I realized that I was happier. I was things in a more positive way. I noticed things started to get better, and God spoke into my life even more. However, once again, complacency has chained me again. I realize my focus is on my social life, and issues I have within my head. I am unhappy in this current state. Its like a dark cloud has hovered over my emotions and ability to interact. I realize that in this state there is a lack of Gods blessings and a lack of a healthy perspective. There is a lack of faith. Without faith it is impossible to please God. I am only hurting myself with a distored focus. I need a new perspective. I need to set my eyes on the things above, and not on the things of this world.